GOLDEN CHAPTER 6

Did ya miss me? Well lemme tell ya, I sure missed talking to all of you! I could of used some extra big email hugs this week! I had both good and bad things happen but I hardly remember the good ones. Oh whoa is me, oh whoa is me, I'm a failure! If I could just find a sewer, I swear I'd commit sewer-side, oh yes I would.

First there's this really mean dog that lives in Mommy's oven. Honest, he does, he does! I wouldn't lie to ya! He's almost as cute as me :) but he's really rude! Each time I walk by that darned old oven, he's walking by and watching me too! Every time I try to do something, he interrupts me. If I move, he moves. If I growls, he growls. If I stares, he stares (I really hate that!). If I bark at him, he has the nerve to interrupt me and bark at the very same time! His face looks almost zactly like mine 'cept that his has nose prints and slobber goo all over it! I can't believe my Mommy would let that kid live in MY house! I don't like him one little bit!

Hey guess what? I passed my test without any crib notes! Yup, last week, I got to go meet all the nice people in the Golden Retriever Club of Western NY. I got to go to the monthly meeting and do two different demos for them. And ya know what else? I didn't even screw it up too bad.

Mommy and I got to come to the meeting with Uncle Steve and his drugs (someone should really talk to Steve about his bad habits), and I showed everyone how I could find 'em in a long row of boxes. Then I got to do a little obedience for everyone. I even did a little bit of it off lead. That went pretty good til I found the huge distraction they planted in the very front row.

They had a young boy sitting there with peanut butter smeared all over his ears! Really, they did, I just know it was cause his ears tasted soooo delicious! I really liked him I did, I did! I would jump up and give him big hugs and just lick and lick and lick his ears. They were really yum, yum, yummy! It was just like having my very own lollipop. When Mommy would call me over and try to play with me I'd just keep going back over to my new friend and licking his ears! I never met a little boy since I've been here and I really like him. Mommy, can we keep him, pleeezzze?? I would promise to feed and brush him every day, and I'll make extra sure he's clean behind his ears. I will even teach him to be a good boy and go outside when he's gotta go potty like me. Please Mom? Can we?

Last week after all my training at Steve's was done, I got to go play with the real search dog team on Saturday. We had Peaches and Echo and Mr. Snuffleupagus (Zeb), and Willow and me. Willow got to take a break from puppy sitting cause we just went in the woods near Mom and Dad's house. I got to do a real long trailing problem and found someone hidden in an old trailer! I was kinda scared to go in at first, but I found out they had treats in there! Yummy! Willow got to do her trailing off-lead with two different people who split up and she had to find the smell of the right one! Then she has to go back and tell Mom she found them! Wow, that musta been really hard. When I grow up I wanna be just like her. I sure wish I could be a member of Kinzua Search Dogs.

Echo and Zeb did really good, and peaches got introduced to tracking. Mom says she's a natural cause every time she does her airscent training, she tracks people when she crosses their trail. I like Peaches, she real cute.

Now the worstest thing that has ever happened to me. The dreaded AKC Sanctioned "Match!" Mommy said I'd really love it and would do really good. Humpf. Little did she know.

First we went in the beginner on-lead obedience class. Every thing was going great. I did great heeling, figure eights, the recall, long sits, downs (kinda good), but then came the scary part. They do this thing called the Stand for Insemination! Aarrggghhh!! Do you have any idea what that means? Well neither did I but one thing I did know is that this boy wanted no part of it! Then to top it all off, we go in the beautiful boy class and the same thing happens...but worse! They try to touch you you-know-where! No Way! I clung to Mommy like velcro. Plus it was pouring and the judge was wearing this really loud plastic rain suit. I was really scared and kept sitting down. Now Mommy hates me. I'm so sad. :(

Well, between you guys and me, I have another fear to admit to. I hope you don't think I'm silly but I'm very afraid. When Mom first got me, she had talked about getting me so she could train me and then donate me to a Law Enforcement agency as a narcotics and tracking dog. Well I've been thinking about this since I got here and. I don't wanna go! I really love my new Mommy and Daddy. My Daddy Butch even lays on the floor with me every night and scratches my belly. I sure wish I could stay here with Mary and Butch instead of bein a dumb ol' policeman dog. They gots to bite people, don't they? I could never bite someone. I'm so scared. Who would love me? Who would tell me what a good boy I am?

Maybe I'm really not a good boy and that's why Mommy doesn't want me no more. I try really hard to be good, but sometimes I just make mistakes. Am I doing something wrong? Maybe it's cause I was so scared at the Match and didn't want anyone to examine me. But hey, I didn't need an exam, I wasn't even sick! I know, what if from now on I try super extra special hard so Mommy will see what a good boy I can really be. Maybe then she will know how much I really love her and Daddy. Please don't tell Mommy and Daddy this cause then they might laugh cause I'm a sissy, and kick me out sooner. It'll be our little secret. I'm gonna go start studying right now. Until then, stay Golden.

Love and Sloppy kisses, Yer little buddy . . . Buddy
(Send comments or questions to Mary MacQueen)

Fetch the next chapter